While you were sleeping

Dear Aly,

I love to watch you while you are sleeping. It gives me a great sense of joy and peace.

Each time after you fall asleep (after I nurse you to sleep) I just lay there beside you for a little while more and watch as you drift off into dreamland.

Once in a while you will break into a smile and I wonder with a smile what sweet dreams you are having.

Sometimes I would hold your little hand and your fingers will curl naturally around my finger as though you are telling me “mummy I know you’re there”.

And as I watch you sleep, I would think to myself – all I want is for you to be always this worry free, this contented and at peace with yourself. All I want is for you to be happy and healthy, Aly.

So many thoughts pass through my mind during these moments as i watch you and reflect and give thanks for your existence.

Always remember that mummy loves you!

Love,
Mummy

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Me time

I feel that ever since I became a mum, I am constantly racing with time. Somehow 24 hours a day just don’t seem enough. When I take time off work, I cannot decide if I should spend the precious time with Aly or if I should go on a date with ys, have tea with my mum or have some me time.

My idea of a perfect day of me time honestly is to do absolutely nothing at all and to just curl in bed in my king size bed and just erm sleep. But of course I cannot bring myself to do that since time is so precious and there are so many other things that I need to do for myself (like have a haircut, go for a facial or shop for clothes – haha).

So anyway, today I decided to take a couple of hours off work and pamper myself. I managed to get some shopping done in 20 mins (I shop like a man now) and squeezed in time for a facial! The husband was kind enough to offer to send Aly home on his own from his mum’s place so I will just need to head straight home after dinner. The result is a happier (and cleaner) me! It is amazing what a few hours of me time can do.

Again, I think it takes some discipline to set aside time for yourself, especially with kids you would like to spend all your time with. But it’s necessary I feel. And a happy mum = a happy baby!

So what do you do during your me-time?

A moment we shared

There is something I love about this picture. Yes the eye bags are bad and I had no make up on but it is this simplicity that draws me to this picture. It is a picture of simple joy, of a precious moment both Aly and I shared as we lazed in bed together on a Sunday afternoon, and of a wonderful bond.

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Happy Father’s Day

Today is ys’ first father’s day, which probably makes it the most meaningful father’s day in all his 31 years, cos I’m sure he finally genuinely understands both the joys and demands of fatherhood. So even though I got him a card (which I have yet to write in), I thought I might as well write him a note here, so many years down the road, both him and Aly can read this post together!!

So here goes:

To Aly’s Papa:

I’m sure you were warned well in advance of the sleepless nights and the chaotic days but still, I think probably nothing prepared you for how our lives would change with Aly’s arrival.

It’s been almost seven months and I must say that i’m really proud of you. You have been the most amazing dad to Aly.

Thank you for sending us to, and picking us up from, anywhere and everywhere.

Thank you for packing the diaper bag and ensuring that it is stocked with necessities each time before we leave the house.

Thank you for taking charge of the gigantic stroller and hauling it in and out of the boot and never once expecting me to do it on my own.

Thank you for religiously washing bottles and my pumps at night and packing them for me in the mornings so I can go to work with the peace of mind knowing that everything I need would be in my pump bag (I’m sure I would have forgotten one thing or another if I were the one packing).

Thank you for making breakfast every morning.

Thank you for entertaining Aly in the morning on weekends so i get to sleep in for a while more.

Thank you for being the clown and entertaining Aly when I’m having my meals and when she is cranky when I’m
changing her.

Thank you for always accompanying me for diaper changes and readily passing me wet wipes and collecting her soiled diaper.

Thank you for empathising with me and understanding how I feel as a woman/mother and putting up with my loads of complaints/whining.

Thank you for standing by me in all that we choose to do with regard to Aly.

Thank you for loving Aly and most of all, thank you for loving me.

Happy father’s day! Hope you had a great one 🙂

P/s: Aly, you’re one lucky girl! Be good to papa!

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Keep falling in love

The sight of two unhappy faces of the husband and wife in a car which is stuck in a jam during the morning rush hour is not uncommon. It’s written all over their faces – fatigue, annoyance and even boredom. I used to joke about how you can instantly tell whether a couple is married through their body language and facial expressions. It is a sad joke but it is reality.

And I think to myself, how sad and ironic it is that two people who profess to be so deeply (and madly) in love with each other, enough to make you want to commit to a lifetime of marriage with each other, often end up getting annoyed with each other over the years.

A year and a half into my marriage and one kid later, I can see how things can potentially spiral downwards. A kid really is able to turn a couple’s lives upside down. This is especially so during the first few months of baby’s arrival. The fatigue kicks in and your lives really just revolve around the baby’s nap times and feeding times. There are a lot more chores to be done all that crying and screaming from the baby just really gets to you after a while. Because of all these changes, tempers flare more easily, words become more curt and romance becomes the last thing on your minds.

I now fully appreciate why couples who have stayed married for decades say that it takes a huge amount of effort to stay in love, or in the marriage for that matter.

Initially, I was a bit bitter about how things have changed since Aly’s arrival. It doesn’t mean I would have changed anything if I had the choice, because Aly is really the best thing that has happened to us as a couple. But I was still sad that things were no longer the same. I had my ideals and it was difficult dealing with the changes in our lives. But we had before the baby came along, discussed our plans for the future and part of the discussions was on how we would set aside time for each other even with baby in our lives.

We now set certain rules for ourselves. I say rules because more often than not, it’s easier to take the easy way out and just not do anything. So we now set a date night each week, where we just leave Aly with our parents a few hours longer, and just go out for dinner or a movie by ourselves. Once in a while when we would like a break during weekends, we also seek help from our parents, who would be more than happy to spend a few extra hours with their precious grand daughter. We took some time off during my maternity leave to go for a short trip to Bali. It was most difficult being away from Aly for a couple of days and we missed her dearly, but we also appreciated some time to ourselves as a couple. In fact, we are already planning our next trip together without Aly!

We make it a point to chat and catch up on our drive to work, after dropping Aly off and take time to what’s app each other during work. Some time is set aside before bedtime to just catch up.

It all sounds very deliberate i know and some may ask why this has to be so, but yes, some effort is needed and such efforts need to be sustained!

Remember that the first step to being good parents is to stay in love. A strong marriage is the foundation to a close knitted family, so do yourselves and your kid(s) a favour and keep falling in love!!

Day 3 – On your plate

Zha Leung – rice noodle roll wrapped around fried dough fritter, which is a popular type of dim sum.

Had dim sum for lunch today and we are just glad we found this gem of a place, which is just minutes drive away from our place!

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